Existential Angst

I'm going to be SUPER honest here... some days being happy and positive feels next to impossible.

I know attitude, mindset and belief are main pillars of happiness, and although I re-incline my mind each morning and every evening, the truth is that I struggle.

I struggle to remain positive when I look around at the devastation that is our world.

I am an optimist, I believe things CAN get better, I believe change happens, and I know there are good people with great intentions, doing amazing things...

But I question: is this good enough? Are we doing it well enough, fast enough, precisely enough to make the difference that needed to be made 20 years ago.

Let's be super REAL for a second... The Earth seems to be dying, and so does it's humans. The Earth is sick, polluted, overpopulated, overburdened, terrorized and traumatized by all of the abuse. ME TOO said the Earth...

The Oceans are polluted, the air is polluted, the food source is dwindling, especially the whole foods, gmos are replacing ancient crops, animal species are going extinct fast, superbugs are taking over, humans are chronically AND acutely ill... Cancer is rampant across every form of life, humans are so deeply diseased and depressed.

We are oppressed in every single sense of the word.

If we want to be healthy and happy, literally every single factor is against us. It is not easy nor simple to achieve wellbeing.

The vaccines, the antibiotics, the drugs, the chemicals, the pesticides, the toxins, the EMFS, etc...

The emotional repression, the trauma, the war, the patriarchy, the sexism, the ageism, the racism, the hate, etc....

The world leaders are playing a dangerous game of who can be the biggest idiot and ravage or blow up the world first...

The education system, media system, farming system, medical system, pharmaceutical system and banking system are all completely broken and corrupt.

Things look grim. Things look so fucking absolutely grim that sometimes my positive mindset and attitude wants to run away to a conscious eco community in Thailand where I live in a bubble of bliss and remain ignorant to the world's problems.

Oh wait, I did that...and it didn't help my existential angst. It didn't change the fact that more than half the population are starving of hunger or dying due to toxicity and disease. It didn't change the fact that the super elite are thriving as the rest of the world is struggling to survive.

Sometimes I want to run and hide, but there is nowhere that isn't affected by these truths.. OH WAIT, THE MOON OR MARS RIGHT??

That's why the brilliant minds and billionaires of this Earth are investing in property on other moons and planets. Awesome.

I make it a point every single day to realign my mind with my heart and to believe in the goodness of the world, for I KNOW there is so much (thank God I am a part of an amazing community of gamechangers), but I still find it hard.

Most of the time I feel as if I am running in slow motion and screaming with nothing coming out. Most of the time I want to bang my head against the wall in frustration at the sheer ignorance around me. Most of the time I want to shake people awake and remind them that we are NOT simply on the Earth, but that we are OF the Earth and that everything is interconnected.

I may seem happy to you, I may wear the brightest smile and have a lightness in my way, and this is true, but it is something that I intentionally choose for myself each and every day to be able to manage living in a world so full of darkness.

The only thing that keeps me from jumping off a bridge most days is the fact that I have chosen to make a difference, and that I am not alone doing it. I have chosen to be a lighthouse, I have chosen to make a difference, I have chosen to commit myself to a cause and to a mission of LIBERATION.

Health, happiness & freedom... I will advocate, represent, embody and fight for these basic human rights THAT EACH AND EVERY HUMAN BEING deserves to experience.

What other choice do I have? Once you wake up from the Matrix, you can't go back...


Post Script * 

As for this post, although this is a version of reality, it is from the perspective of darkness, and it is important to note that an equal yet opposite perspective of lightness exists simultaneously. We choose our reality and in the moment of weakness, I chose the negative viewpoint rather than focusing on all of the positive. 

The world is what we make of it, and our perception is our reality. In the end, we get to choose, and we must choose energetically wisely.